How To Show Your Dog Affection

Learn how to show your dog affection without creating bad habits or mis-communicating!
Tips & Advice » How To Show Your Dog Affection

Trainer with Dog Showing Love and Respect

Posted: February 7, 2025; Less than a minute to read
Tagged: General Care & Safety, Seasonal/Holiday, Situation Specific

Show Your Dog Your Love Without Reinforcing Bad Habits

The bond between dog and human is truly special. Our pets bring us joy, become beloved family members, and offer unwavering, unconditional love without judgment. So of course it’s only natural to want to shower them with affection and attention!

But years of experience have taught us something hard to believe: it can be possible to love your dog too much.

Even the most passionate dog lover should know the difference between loving and spoiling their furry friend. Human expressions of affection can actually sometimes cause stress instead of showing love. Here are some tips on how to express affection to your dog in positive ways that don’t create miscommunication or reinforce bad habits.

Dogs Need Boundaries

While a hands-off approach to pup parenting may seem like the kind thing to do, dogs naturally crave rules and structure and they look for a leader to provide it for them. Without leadership and guidance to feel secure, dogs can become overly protective, demanding or even aggressive. Establishing and reinforcing boundaries is not only healthy but can be done using a foundation of trust and respect, rather than fear and dominance.

Humans and Dogs Speak Two Different Languages

Humans use touch like handshakes, hugs, or kisses to communicate greetings, connection, and affection. Dogs communicate affection with gestures too, including nuzzling, nudging, or snuggling. However, our human expressions of affection can sometimes have a different meaning for dogs. For example, hugging, which we see as a sign of love, may feel dominant or assertive to them - similar to mounting. To ensure your dog feels comfortable, respect their space and introduce hugs gradually, paying attention to their body language.

Be Gentle with Physical Affection

Pets and belly rubs from humans can be calming to our dogs. Pawing between dogs, however, is an expression of assertiveness. That’s why gentle petting – like a chin stroke or rubbing behind the ears – is best, especially when used to reinforce good behavior. Be mindful of young children, who may be overly physical with their affection. Remind them to keep their movements slow, calm, and deliberate with new canine additions to the family.

Dogs Learn by Association

If a dog has ever been struck, pinned down, rolled over, kicked, or over-handled in the past, it is important to rebuild trust slowly and gently. This may mean little or no physical touch until your canine companion shows through body language that they are ready for physical attention.

Resist Picking Up Your Small Dog

We know it’s hard – who doesn’t want to swoop down and pick up an adorable Chihuahua or Maltese? – but pups are typically only picked up by their mothers, and when they are very young. We forget that no matter how small, a dog is still a dog, and being lifted can make them feel trapped or give them the false impression that they share leadership status with the humans at home, inadvertently supporting aggressive tendencies.

Build a Relationship on Love, Trust and Respect

A bond with your pup built on trust, love, and respect is the foundation of healthy, lifelong relationships. That’s why the right kind of affection, at the right time, is so powerful. We can love our dogs as much as they love us, give them the attention they deserve, and be conscious of reinforcing positive, desirable behaviors.

Use the Power of Love at the Right Time

Dogs live for attention, so be mindful of the way you give it. Paying more attention to misbehavior, for example, may mean they exaggerate their behavior to catch your eye. Similarly, using an overly excitable tone at the wrong time can reinforce negative behaviors, like when attempting to comfort your pup while afraid. Pet your dog when they are calm and happy, not excited and jumping, and use your judgment on when to deploy the affectionate “doggy voice”.

If your dog has picked up some bad habits, a Bark Busters trainer is just a call away. We’ll teach you to communicate in the way dogs understand, so you can enjoy expressing and receiving affection, and live a happier life together with your dog!


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